Two years ago, Sia released her directorial film debut, Music, which was widely criticized for its inaccurate depiction of autism. Sia eventually apologized for the film, and last year she said that she was suicidal and relapsed due to the negative reaction to Music.

This past week in an appearance on the reality TV-focused Rob Has A Podcast (Sia is a noted Survivor fanatic), Sia revealed that she’s discovered she is on the autism spectrum. As first picked up by Page Six, Sia mentioned her diagnosis in conversation with recent Survivor contestant Carolyn Wiger. “I’m on the spectrum and I’m in recovery and I’m whatever, there’s a lot of things…” the pop star said. “Being in recovery and knowing about which neuroatypicality you may have or may not have, I think one of the greatest things is that nobody can ever know you and love you when you’re filled with secrets and living in shame.”

“When we finally sit in a room full of strangers and tell them our deepest, darkest, most shameful secrets and everybody laughs along with us and we don’t feel like pieces of trash for the first time in our lives and we feel seen for the first time in our lives for who we actually are,” Sia continued. “Then we can go out into the world just operating as human beings with hearts … not pretending to be anything.”

“For 45 years, I’ve felt like I have to go put my human suit on,” she said. “And only in the last two years have I become fully, fully myself.” Here is Sia’s appearance on the podcast: